Scribbles
by velvetunderground
Summary: Harry gets a letter on his sixteenth birthday written by Sirius, Remus, and his parents from before he was born. New things are discovered, and Harry feels connected to the ones he lost. Contains humor thanks to the marauders. Completed.
1. From The Mouth of Padfoot

A/N - well here's one of my famous letter fics. Hope you like it. Each chapter will be a different person writing, (you'll understand what I mean if you read on).

"What is it?" Harry curiously asked, while taking the blue envelope from the man in shabby robes, standing in front of him.

"It's a letter Harry," Remus Lupin replied, staring directly at the handwriting on the front as he handed it to the sixteen year old.

"Er…who is it from? I don't recognize the writing," Harry asked as he looked closely at the messy writing written on the front of the letter he was now holding, trying to figure out whom it was from.

When he got no answer from the tired man he was speaking to, he looked up into the grey eyes of Remus to find sadness and what looked like remorse.

"Professor?" Harry quietly asked, wanting to know how something as simple as a letter could be so sad.

"I'm not your Professor now, Harry, you don't have to call me that anymore. My friends call me Remus. Or even Moony, if you will," he said, a sad smile playing on his face.

"Sorry," Harry said, as he looked back down at the letter one more time. Something about it felt comforting to him, even if he didn't feel anything of the sort lately or even know who the letter was from.

Voices carried through from the kitchen, which was directly down the hall from the room where Harry and Remus were standing in, alone. It was a turning point in Harry's life, this summer day, for it was his sixteen birthday. And though he was not at all happy about having to endure so many of his loved ones pass away for him, he was grateful to be alive, and grateful that his remaining friends had actually taken the time to throw him a surprise party regardless of how he had been acting the past couple months.

"Well…Sirius actually had that letter in his possession for many years…sixteen to be exact…and…well...the other day I was going through some of the stuff that he…left me," Remus paused, as if to remember his friend before continuing his story to Harry, "and well, I found this. When we wrote it, we had made a deal to give it to you on your sixteenth birthday, Harry."

"Who's we?" Harry asked, wondering if his suspicions were right and if he was holding something very special in his hands right now.

"Your parents, Sirius, and myself," Remus said to Harry who was now looking at the letter in disbelief as if afraid of what it contained, "we all decided one day to write you a big letter from all four of us…this was when you were still in your mother's stomach… yes, we were kind of random back then. But anyways, that's why it says i The best baby in the world /i on the front of it…your parents hadn't decided on a name yet. But simply, we all took turns writing to you, knowing that you would read this on your sixteenth birthday. And know that none of us ever got to see what the others wrote, so it's personally yours, Harry. I hope when you read it, you realize just how much you were loved before you were even born. I know you may not think it happy at all Harry, but have a Happy Birthday anyways, you deserve it. I'm forever sorry for not spending as much time with you as I should of throughout the first sixteen years of your life, but believe me when I say that I tried." Remus Lupin finished before he pulled Harry into a one armed hug and then exited the room leaving Harry alone with his newfound treasure.

Harry held the blue envelope out in front of him and surveyed every inch of it as if delaying the time to when he would open it. Now that he looked more closely at it, he could tell that it did look a little old and faded. But he didn't care; in fact it made him like it even more, for this was a way of connecting to some of the people that he would never get a chance to speak to. Reaching his arm out in front of him, Harry quietly closed the door and locked it, just in case things got emotional. He knew now that the writing on the front of the envelope had to be his father's, and he stared as if entranced by the way the words looped up and slanted slightly to the right. With a shaking hand, Harry took a deep breath, flipped the envelope over and unfolded the top, revealing what looked to be many folded papers stapled together and stuffed inside.

His letter.

He pulled it out, set the now empty envelope on the table he was standing near, then walked to the middle of the room and sat down on the floor. Unfolding the slightly wrinkled papers, Harry briefly glanced down at the first page of writing that was written unmistakably in his Godfather's familiar messy scribble.

i Dear Future Marauder,

Ha. I get to be the first person to ever write to you. And I'm making James go last in this letter, just because it will annoy him like no other. You'll understand the importance of annoying your friends one day, I'm sure, (well if you're any son of Prongs, you will). Which brings me to my infamous introduction because you probably are wondering who this crazy person is that's writing to you. Well…(and at this point you can imagine me clearing my throat for dramatic effect)…I am the most noble and refined, not to mention well mannered…ha! Just kidding…I couldn't even finish that sentence without laughing. Your parents are giving me the weirdest looks right now, but that's nothing new…they probably think I'm filling up my part of the letter by telling you embarrassing things about them, or teaching you swears or something, (but that's for later).

So where was I? Oh right, my introduction. If you haven't noticed already, I sometimes like to draw things out a tad too long. I mean you should already know who I am by now, so I'll save you the hassle of guessing, (or flipping to the back to see), who I am. I'm Sirius. Just Sirius. Your one and only Godfather! How cool is that? Now I know what you're thinking…that this guy is pretty cool, right? Well you are absolutely right! No questions asked, I will be the most coolest person you will ever meet in your life. That's right I said it. Just don't tell your dad I said that, or he might have a fit, (for you see, he thinks that he is the coolest person…but he's not). So now that I've given you a pretty good impression of your father figure…hehehe… let's move on. I just want you to know that I can be the person you can always come to. No matter what. And especially if you have a problem with your mom or dad, because I know how to deal with them, (and you might get some candy out of it…). But let no one know under any circumstances that I tried to bribe you with candy. Ok? So lesson number one, come to your uncle Padfoot, (call me Padfoot by the way…I'll explain later.), and I will let you stay up late, tell you embarrassing things about your dad, give you candy, (but remember what we said about the candy), and even teach you some of those swear words if you so desire! Got it? Good.

Just to tell you, ever since I found out about you, I've been praying that you won't end up with your father's hair. Oh God, that would not be good. We don't need more messy haired Potter's running around in this world. Let's just hope you take more after your mother, shall we? We shall.

So hopefully you are sixteen now, have had your sweet sixteen birthday, and that you have been brought up well. And by well, I mean marauder style, and nothing else. James will of course have taught you to fly by now, and I wouldn't be surprised if you become a professional Quiddich player. I'm sorry but your dear father is obsessed. But in a good way because if he's obsessed, then I am too! But he's the best chaser I've ever seen. What position do you play? Seeker? Chaser? Ah whatever it is, I'm sure you're the best at it in the school, eh? And writing about Quiddich got me thinking about flying, which now brings me to something else that's very cool. I am one day going to have a flying motorbike. Isn't that so awesome? Remus doesn't think it will ever happen, but mark my words kid, it will. And I'll let you be the first to ride it. I promise. And a promise from me is never broken.

I am sincerely hoping that you go to Hogwarts and that you are in Gryffindor. Please tell me you're in Gryff. (otherwise we will need to have a long talk about some things)! Oh and for a heads up… here is lesson two… if McGonagall is still teaching there, (you'll recognize her as the strict one right away), know that she is just a big softy on the inside and likes to be called 'mom'. But enough about school, who wants to talk about school? Only uncool people, that's who. I'm getting all these looks from my so called friends who want their turn to write to you…I'm sure you know which looks I'm talking about.

So I'll wrap this up, I guess. But yes, I really am looking forward to all of the great things we can do together, (once you get past the diaper, and throwing up stage of course, no offence!). Like pranking for example…or ooh! I'll teach you Sirius Black's secrets to winning over any girl. And believe me they work. And when you take your dog for a walk to the park, I will be there right alongside with you. Hahaha this is fun thinking about actually, I can't wait for you to come!

Ok, so now to move on to the more serious side of the letter…even though letters don't really have sides…. wait! Ah nevermind, who cares about sides anyways? But yes, your parents, Moony (Remus), and I all work together in a very dangerous but ironically fulfilling job. I wouldn't change what I do, and am even willing to die for it. But I can't tell you what it is we do just yet, but in good time, you will know. Heck you'll probably be a part of it. (Like how I said Heck instead of swearing? You mother would be proud…maybe it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks!). So you're probably wondering why I am telling you this when I am sworn to secrecy about it anyways, but it is just in case I'm not…well…around for your whole life. Lily told us to give you ten points of advice in this letter, so I am going to do just that, and you can't forget anything I tell you just in case I'm not always around to remind you.

 If any of us marauders ever give you permission to do something, go ahead and do it! But never under any circumstances tell your mother.

 Just to warn you…us guys do not get "that time of the month" thing and, therefore, cannot use it as an excuse when trying to get out of detention…or out of a date…or out of a potions class…the list goes on, mate, but it's good to know, right?

 Choose your friends wisely, and always be there for them. Always. Fighting isn't worth your time. Die for them if need be, for they should complete you. And don't be afraid to embarrass them occasionally (cougheveryminutecough) or hug them! Guys like hugs.

 For future reference, do not ever try to line up all of the suits of armour at Hogwarts and claim that you are starting a battle for middle earth, (you'll understand this if you ever come across some muggle book that Remus made me read once). Hey, it was actually a good book and I was just trying to relive the experience, honestly! There was absolutely no need for the detentions. None.

Live everyday the best you can. Have the most fun. Try new things and be random! Everyone will like you that much better.

 Enemies are ok, but don't have more then you can count on one hand.

Do not ever mess up your hair, even more then I'm sure it already is, whilst standing on the ground to make it look like you have just gotten off of your broom. I mean it. Girls do not like it. I repeat… do not.

If ever you need to talk to someone, come to me first. I can solve anything you throw at me! And if I can't, then go to Remus. He's a good listener.

Ask about the map and you shall see. But again, do not tell your mother.

 I'm always here for you no matter what. That's not really advice, but it's the truth, (hey, girls like an honest man!).

And that's about it, little child who I don't know the name to. You're going to have a cool last name though…that will earn you respect, (not that you'll need it). But anyways my little wee Potter, if you don't remember anything that I have told you through this letter, remember this; follow in the footsteps of your father and I and let our mischief live on forever.

Much love,

Sirius, but what did I tell you to call me? That's right. Padfoot. /i 

Harry wiped his eyes as he looked away from the words he had just read. He sincerely missed his Godfather, and as he thought about all of the things that they never got a chance to do together, and of the 'advice' that Sirius had just given him, he felt a sudden feeling that Sirius was alive once more, communicating through his words. As Harry looked around the room that used to be Sirius', he made a silent pact to never let Padfoot die.

After mentally telling himself that he had to keep himself together for his parents' words which were coming next, Harry wiped his eyes once more, flipped the page, and saw for the first time in his life, his mother's handwriting.


	2. A Mother Knows Best

Harry, never before having seen anything of his mother's, sat for many minutes just staring at her handwriting, letting tears snake down his pale face. As he ran his fingers over the page, he felt an odd connection to the women who had also touched the paper sixteen years ago. Finally letting his curiosity take over all emotions he was feeling, he went to read the first line before he was interrupted by a sudden knock at the door to his left.

"Harry?"

Harry recognized the soft voice immediately as Hermione's as soon as he had heard it. He slowly looked towards the door trying not to make a sound and also trying not to be mad at his friend for interrupting his private moment with his letter.

"Look Harry I know you're in there, even if I don't know what you are doing. Your guests downstairs are missing you and want you to open your presents now. Do you think you could come out now?" She asked through the door, obviously starting to get a little angry by Harry's ignoring.

Even though Harry knew that she knew he was in the room, he still didn't make a sound in hopes that she would go away. Going downstairs to open presents was really the last thing he wanted to do right now. He still had three quarters of the letter left and was just itching with longing to read it.

"Harry are you mad again because…" Harry heard Hermione begin before he heard another voice in the hallway. This time a man's voice, which was quieter then Hermione's and more relaxed.

"Hermione, let's leave Harry alone for a little bit. Don't you think he deserves at least that much on his birthday? I understand he is to be preoccupied for a while, so why don't you and I go back downstairs and entertain the guests," Remus Lupin said to Hermione. It was almost an order, but in the nicest way possible.

"Alright Professor if you think that's best," Hermione said in a defeated voice.

Harry heard their footsteps fade away down the hall, and then down the stairs, mentally making a note to give Lupin a big present when he next had the chance.

Now that his distraction had been removed, Harry returned his thoughts to the letter once more, paused for a brief second to take a deep breath, and then plunged into the neat writing that had once belonged to his mother, Lily.

i To My Son,

Thank you. I know that those two words are a weird way to start a letter, especially to someone who I have yet to meet, but they seem somewhat appropriate. Now you may be raising your eyebrows at me in the way that only a Potter can do, (your father does it a lot I'm afraid), but bare with me for the next page or two and hopefully by the end of my letter you will understand just why I am so thankful to you.

Now we, that is to say Sirius, Remus, James and myself, are not writing this giant letter to you to remind us of our love for you. No, it is mainly for those days sometime in the far future when you may forget how much we love you, or wonder why we wanted you in our lives. Hopefully it will serve as a friendly reminder of those that care for you. So please take this letter out if ever you feel separated or distant from any of us, and know that even if you don't feel that we can understand what you are going through, we do care. And probably can relate in some way or another. Especially your father, for he has been through so much to be the great man he is today and knows what it's like to be 'that Potter kid with the messy hair'. I'm sure with my luck you will be the spitting image of your dear father. But who can complain about that, right?

Today is your sixteenth birthday, congratulations! As I sit here writing this in your soon-to-be nursery with you in my stomach, I am picturing my life sixteen years from now. It's hard to say what everything, and everyone will be like then. But I know that I will be proud of you for who you are. If James and I can find that good parent gene inside of us, then you'll be in good hands. But I have to admit that we are a little insecure about the whole parent thing; I mean what if we're not good enough for you? I for one like to be prepared for what comes my way. Your father on the other hand does well with new experiences and I have no doubt that he rise up to the challenge and be the best father out there. Don't tell anyone this, but every morning, he likes to read or sing to you in my stomach. It's a little awkward I must say for me, but apparently he wants you to know his voice from the second you can understand sounds. I know that he just wants you to find more comfort in his voice then in Sirius' though. Those boys are always competing. Darn marauders. Can you believe that they actually have a name like that for themselves, my son? I have no doubt that they will tell you all about it one day soon, if they haven't already, so I won't write about all of the things unique to those boys, or about the trouble they get into everyday. That would take a whole book to tell, maybe multiple books.

So I suppose you'd like to know what your parents were all like 'back in the day'. Let's start with your father, because everyone always starts with James. I can't even start to tell you the many great things about your father, but I'll hit the important ones. If there's one thing your father wants, it's always the best of what there is. He doesn't settle for ordinary and fights for what he wants. I hope you have inherited these traits because they are important as one develops. He is a very smart man, and one of the funniest I've met I'd have to say. I know he will always want what is best for you, and will always strive for higher knowledge. Please don't ever grow to say that you hate him like many children say to their parents, because it would kill him inside. He possesses a lot of love for those people closest to him and would do anything for them. You included. Know that I think very highly of him as a person, for he is a great man and wizard, and one that you should look up to. Right now he is currently downstairs doing god knows what with Remus and Sirius, his two best friends. But I know he is planning what he wants to say to you in his portion of this letter, for it is that important to him.

Now I on the other hand, your mother, are slightly different then the infamous marauder I just described to you above. They do say that opposites attract, and that proves true with your father and me. The main values that I'd like to teach you include a little of my own and a little of your dad's. For instance, always use your full potential. If someone says that you can't do something, please, prove them wrong. For me. Now your father and I agree that grades are important as well while you are getting your education, but don't forget to experience all of the other things in life. For with experience, we grow. I learned that from him and would like to pass it on to you. So remember to try new things, and do things that you may be a little uncomfortable doing at first. You'll get stronger, my dear. I talk from personal experience. But I'm not really good at talking about myself, so we'll let your father tell you about me in his part of the letter.

But how about you? I hope that you have found who you are in life so far, and have found those friends that complete you. I also hope that you go to Hogwarts…it's a great school, isn't it? Many memories I have are from there, and just think, you can walk and sit in all of the places where I used to hang out! Your father used to always sit under this one tree by the lake; I wonder if you know which one I am talking about? So I am almost positive that you play Quidditch. I mean, how could you not? You're James Potter's son. I know you'll make him proud.

I've sat for many hours just thinking about what you are going to be like, but also what to name you. I know it's kind of sad that we haven't picked a name for you yet, but this is just one those many things that your father and I can't agree on. I wish you could tell us what you would like to be named. For your own safety, (and sanity), I've been turning down most of the names your dad has been putting on the table. Right now he's stuck on the name 'Snitch'. Snitch for crying out loud! It's a friggin' gold ball. I mean, what was he thinking? If you are ever thinking that he is a bit touched in the head, you have solid proof from this that he is. But I protested, and so did Remus, so you can thank us later, haha. We'll come up with something though, and I'll personally make sure that it's not too weird of a name, or that it's not James Jr., for that matter!

I hope I haven't bored you to death with my ramblings about your father and myself, we really are interesting people, I swear! And talking about swearing, I bet that Sirius told you some swear words in his part of the letter didn't he? I wish I could've written first to tell you not to listen to any of the nonsense that he spills out. He is a smart one though, deep down. You just have to dig deep. I hope you feel that you can go to him at any time because he is almost overly excited about having you as a godson. Good old Sirius, he'll be your second father I bet. And by second father, I mean that he will actually ask you to call him father or something. But it might be just to annoy James, so watch out. Remember what I said about the competition thing. It's brutal between those two.

I am now going to give you my ten pieces of advice that I've asked everyone to give. I've been thinking of all of the things I want you to know and there's just so much that it was very hard for me to fit it into ten points. So know that a lot of thought went into this. Here it is, look back on these and know that they are coming straight from your mother and are what she truly believes.

When a rose becomes weak and dies, is it not still a rose? You will go through many stages in your life and the love you have for those close to you will be tested. Remain faithful always to the people you know, no matter what happens to them or how much they change over time.

Find the balance between inner and outer self-confidence. Be proud of who you are on the inside and I promise you that it will show on the outside. Your father is a good example of this. Love who you are…every positive thing to every flaw.

Give second chances. Especially to those who ask for them, for you may just find everything you were looking for in that person who you dismissed on first glance.

If you ever feel alone, scared, or angry, talk to someone. Anyone. I talk from personal experience here…it really helps.

Trust that your father and I will always want what is best for you, and will always be with you even when it seems like we couldn't be further.

Do what you want to do in life, set goals, follow through with them, and never settle for anything less then what you truly want.

Learn a few good charms and hexes for those 'certain' people. But show mercy as well. I give you permission to practice on your father.

A simple smile can really get you places. Remember to never start frowning because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile.

Read books! They help with everything like school, common knowledge, dealing with problems, or even learning life lessons.

Have no regrets. As simple as that.

I hope that you can check back on these points in the future because it took me a couple of years to figure out just how important they are. But hopefully you will have learned some of your own life lessons by now, seeing as you are sixteen years old.

Since you've been in my stomach, it's been really great around here. I get waited on constantly by James, Sirius, and Remus. It's good having control over those boys for once, so thank you! Also, as we draw nearer to the date where you are expected to be born around, I've noticed definite changes in the perspectives of all of us, and I think we've even matured a little bit. I guess it just took you for us to notice how good we've all got it, and how good it is going to be in the future. So thanks again, my son!

Alright, now for the more light part of my letter. I'll give you some tips for getting around the marauders, or for finding out what they are up to for example. First, and most importantly, if you ever notice that 'special sparkle' in their eyes, and it's not someone's birthday or full moon, (you'll learn about that later), then they are most definitely up to something. I trust that you and I will make a good team in figuring out what they are behind. It's always a fun pastime, as you'll come to understand I'm sure. Now, to soften them up, or to get out of trouble, (even though they will probably reward for you getting into trouble), here are the most sure-fire ways to…er…distract their attentions. Alright for Remus, it's very simple. Just offer him chocolate and he goes nuts. Even a hug works sometimes, or a sentimental talk. But go with the chocolate first, you'll see what I mean. Now for Sirius, it's a little more difficult because he is very loyal to James and Remus but there are a few ways to get him off topic, or distracted. One, tell him that James thinks he is the best marauder or something along those lines for example. He will go crazy and instantly start listing off the numerous times where he proved he is worthy of the 'best marauder' title. Only use this if you have a lot of time on your hands though. Remember not to smart talk him, because he has to be the king of comebacks. And he does like a challenge. Now James is the hardest but he does have his weak spots. You for example. Just tell him how much you love him and think he is the best, and he will do whatever you want. Trust me. He likes when people inflate his ego. Or you could always start up a conversation about Quidditch, that's a never fail method for distracting him. But you probably have found out all of these tricks in the last sixteen years of your life already because I know you are most likely very smart!

So hopefully you know that the previous paragraph was all in fun, (but all useful tips at the same time!). I have to say goodbye soon because I can hear the boys coming upstairs, sounding like a heard of elephants, heading for what I'm sure is this very room.

Please take all of what I have told you and use it to achieve your full potential. I know that the days I spend with you with be among the best of my life, and I can't wait. I look forward to meeting you and watching you grow, and mature, while keeping a good reflection of your parents at the same time, (ha). Go forward with a positive attitude, but remember that it's ok to be angry or sad at times. It shows that you are human. I hope that you are having the great sixteenth birthday that you will so fully deserve. It's your day, so enjoy it the best you can, with the people you want to be around. Thank you for the new outlook I have achieved just by knowing that you are coming into my life. Know that I love you, and always will. A love only a mother can know. An unconditional love. For to really live, all you need is love.

Talk to you soon,

Love Mom /i

Harry put down the letter onto the floor next to him and looked out a nearby window taking in all his mother had said to him. He was overwhelmed by the amount of love that she seemed to have for him even before he had been born.

A feeling of guilt fell over him as he cried again that day for knowing he was ultimately the cause of this great women's death. His mother's words ran deep inside of him as he felt her speaking to him. He knew that her advice and letter would stay with him forever, but didn't know when he would have the courage to read it again any time soon.

Harry wiped his tears and felt angry that he hadn't got to spend as much time with his mother as he felt he deserved. Remembering what she had told him to do whenever he felt he was angry or sad, he stood up and started heading for the door, wanted to find Remus to talk to him before he read the last half of the letter.

Entering the hallway, Harry closed the door behind him, leaving the opened letter lying alone on the middle of the dusty floor, waiting for him to come back and finish.


	3. Love, Uncle Moony

A/N - I've got my icecream in one hand, and my vanilla lipgloss in the other. Life is good. And guess what? Chapter three is here! And it's dedicated to all who reviewed! So sorry for the wait! This is a long chappie for you guys...but is more on the serious side. (for reasons you will understand if you read it!). It features Harry and Remus...hehehe I feel like one of those movie announcers...all right so on to the story? Thanks for reading...hope you still like it, even though it's a little different then the rest. Enjoy!

Disclaimer - Special thanks goes to J. K. Rowling.

Ch.3 Love, Uncle Moony

With his mind completely forgetting that there was a little party going on without him downstairs, Harry Potter walked slowly through the hallway in the direction of the main staircase. His eyes hadn't left the black carpet that he seemed to constantly be staring at these days.

Harry hated to be in Grimmauld Place with all of his heart as every room, lamp, and even fork reminded him painfully of his godfather. Every time he saw something like that, his stomach would drop at being randomly reminded of the loss and he would get angry. He wasn't even sure if being in the Black house was better then being at the Dursley's anymore. Harry had been, for the most part, not eating very much for the past couple of months wherever he was living. And this hunger did nothing to control his emotions that always seemed to be near the surface lately.

Now, after having read the first half of his letter, which had been one of his many sixteenth birthday presents, Harry felt guilty. He was sad and angry now that he hadn't gotten to get to know his mother who sounded like a wonderful person. But more so, he knew that it was the loss of Sirius that was making him vulnerable at the moment. Everything always came back to Sirius. 

He knew that Sirius wouldn't have wanted him to shut himself up like he was doing, or for him to refuse to eat proper meals, or have a short temper with his best friends, just because he wasn't around anymore. Sirius would have thought him a coward for sure, Harry knew, and wondered why he was hiding from the truth or even reality for that matter. But what would he, Harry, answer to being called a coward when he knew that he was indeed being one? The thought that Sirius would be disappointed in him if he could see him now did nothing to calm Harry's emotions. In fact, this was the reason that he got so angry all the time.

For the first time in his life, Harry wanted to cut himself out of the magical world on the reasoning that his life wasn't fair. The injustice was killing him inside as he wondered which other loved ones he would have to see die before the war was over. He made a mental note, however selfish it sounded to him, to ask Dumbledore to do his best to protect the remaining people that he cared for in his life and were in danger just because they were close to him. If there was anyone who could do that task, Harry knew it was Dumbledore. He would thank him after the war was over.

But the thought of Sirius was still hard for him. And he knew it was because he hadn't properly mourned for him yet. There had been no funeral so Harry didn't get to say goodbye, or have any closure.

As he walked ever slower in the hall, his thoughts drifted slightly, and he remembered that Lupin hadn't had a chance to mourn either. This just made him feel bad for his past professor though. Harry felt that him and Remus shared an unspoken vow. Neither daring to talk about Sirius in the other's presence or admit how much they missed him. Smiling fake smiles day to day as if in hope that for one minute everything would return to normal. And they had gotten used to it. It was comforting to Harry, knowing that there was someone else out there who felt what he was feeling, even if no words were ever uttered.

But Harry felt that maybe he could act his age for the day and encourage Remus to do the same, if just for the day. They needed to talk about it, he knew that much. And he wanted to talk to Remus before he read his part of the letter and his fathers'. He didn't know why, but he just did. Remus was now going to be, willingly or unwillingly, his new father figure after all.

Knowing that the only reason why Sirius' letter had sunk in more then his mother's had was because he had gotten to know the former and feel his love, Harry walked down the stairs he hadn't realized he had already reached. Thoughts of talking to Remus and breaking their silent vow were now on his mind.

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Harry entered the kitchen expecting to hear loud noises and many conversations. However what greeted him was an intense silence. He scanned the faces of the people who had cared enough to come to his birthday party, and noticed right away Hermione's worried face and Remus' almost too understanding look. It looked as if everyone had frozen at the sight of the 'birthday boy'. He hated everybody staring at him and felt his hand subconsciously race up to his messy hair.

It was only as his hand felt his hair that he was brought back to his senses and realized that he must have looked like a wreck. He probably had red eyes or something from crying, and a sad look on his face.

Harry forced a smile, and when nobody said anything, he spoke with a calm voice.

"Isn't it a little quiet in here for a birthday party?"

Silence.

'Great', Harry thought to himself, feeling like an idiot.

"Harry's right, everybody get back to whatever you were doing and enjoy the night off!" a low growl said from the end of the table.

Harry inwardly thanked Moody for coming to his rescue, as he watched everybody going back to their conversations and whatever they were doing before. It seemed that Fred and George had been putting on a little muggle magic show as Harry took in their costumes and audience.

He noticed Remus walking towards him so he stood in the door entrance waiting until he was approached. He didn't have to wait long.

"Are you alright, Harry?' Remus asked, "You look kind of spaced out right now. Did you finish the letter?"

Harry sighed before answering the best he could, "No, I only got through Sirius and my moms' letters."

Just as Harry had expected, the smile had left Remus' face at the mention of Sirius and Lily.

"Ok Harry, well you don't have to read the whole thing tonight, you know," Remus said, trying to lighten the mood, "Want to open your other presents now? Molly's been insisting th-"

"No," Harry cut him off a little forcefully.

"Well, what do you wan-" Remus started.

But Harry cut him off again.

"I want to talk to you. Right now. In private," he said in barely a whisper as he had now noticed that some of his guests had turned to look at them when he had said 'no' a bit louder then necessary.

Harry took one more look at the kitchen and saw a birthday cake for him on the table with a snitch on it that he hadn't noticed before. He heard the people sitting around the table laughing and joking at something funny that Moody had just said, drinks spilling here and there. He glanced back at the corner where Fred and George were still performing. It looked now as if they were attempting to saw Ginny in half whom, it seemed, had volunteered willingly for this stunt. Harry turned to leave the room, Remus following, upset that he hadn't seen Professor Dumbledore among the guests in the kitchen.

Harry and Remus walked in silence out of the kitchen, down a dark hallway, and into the first room that they found on their left. It was the Black library that Harry had never even known existed before this. Not even caring that the books were all full of dark magic since they reminded him of the subject he wanted to discuss with Remus, he started their 'conference'.

"Look, I just finished reading my mom's part of the letter," he started and was surprised to see that Remus was about to speak.

"And you want to talk about her when I knew her, right? You want to know what she was like back then. Well, I guess I can answer any questions that you may have Harry. It must have come as a little shock to read her words to you, I'm guessing," Remus said.

"They didn't really sink in as much as Sirius' did actually. I feel guilty about that. And that's what I want to talk about. Sirius," Harry said, waiting for Remus to refuse to talk about his past friend or for him to look mad, but neither came.

Remus looked as if he was choosing his words carefully as he looked into Harry's green eyes.

"Look, there's no shame in feeling more strongly about Sirius' letter over Lily's. Sirius was, forgive me, a father to you who you got to know, however brief it was." Remus said with a concerned look in his eyes.

"He wasn't my father," Harry said a little colder then he had intended to, "Remus," he added sorry for sounding harsh.

"I know, Harry. It may be hard to believe, but I do know that," Remus said.

"Sorry," Harry said quietly.

"Don't be," Remus answered and Harry could clearly tell that he was now thinking about Sirius as well now.

After a painful silence, neither knowing what to say, Harry felt the words come out of his mouth before he even knew what he was saying.

"Why did he have to die?" he yelled, foolishly thinking that Remus would know the answer, "why didn't you stop him from falling? Why didn't you let me go after him? Why don't you shut yourself up in your room all the time? Don't you care that he's gone? Didn't you care about him at all?"

Harry stopped himself before he could do anymore damage. He knew it wasn't Remus' fault but blaming somebody made him feel better at the moment. He needed to vent his rage.

Harry saw Remus sit down in an old reading chair by the bookshelves slowly and then put his face in his hands.

"Look Harry," he started but then stopped. 

And Harry knew that for the first time, his former professor didn't know what to say. This made Harry more upset however as he had wanted Remus to yell back at him.

"Wasn't he like your best friend? You'd think that you could spare a tear or something for him!" Harry continued, until he saw Remus lift his head.

"Harry, it's all right. I miss him too. You're right, he was one of my best friends who I am eternally thankful to for things that you can't even begin to imagine. I didn't want him to die any more than you did, but you know that I couldn't let you go after him and risk losing you as well. You see, now? Sirius died protecting you. And that's what he wanted." Remus said, and Harry was shocked to see weakness in Remus' eyes. He never saw him lose his composition.

"He didn't want to die, don't say that," Harry said angrily, looking directly in the werewolf's eyes.

They stayed silent for a minute as Harry glared at Remus as if daring him to argue.

"That's not what I meant, Harry," Remus broke the silence quickly, "Sirius was prepared to die fighting. He's been prepared every since he joined the Order of the Phoenix. As have we all," he said.

Harry sat down in the chair opposite Remus and another silence took them over. This time it was Remus again who broke it.

"I know that you're not really mad at me, Harry. Understand that we're going through the same thing here," Remus said, now sounding less and less like a professor and more and more like a parent or a friend.

Harry felt guilt once again that night.

"It's so unfair, Remus. There were so many more things I wanted to do with him. The memories are what's really getting to me," Harry said quietly feeling like he was talking to Ron or Hermione now.

"You know, there's this one thing that I remember him saying once, a long time ago. And it was right after you were born actually," Remus started.

Harry looked up, wanting to hear every detail of Remus' memory.

"We were at your parents' house one night about a week after they brought you home from the hospital. Sirius, James, Lily, you, and me that is. He was holding you in his arms, talking about all of the secrets of Hogwarts, and of all the best pranks that he'd ever played, when he stopped suddenly. We all turned to look at him and we saw him studying your face intently. He then said in a very different voice, which was unknown to all of us back then, 'you know, you're going to be the son that I know I'll never have'. And it was what he truly felt. We all knew that. Sirius never intended to have children, you see, too much responsibility he used to say, and he use to tell me and James that he knew that you'd be enough." Remus said, and then looked at the wall on the other side of the room as if trying to hide his emotions.

Harry just smiled, sitting there picturing the story in his head. It oddly made him feel a little better about everything.

"Anyways," Remus started again, breaking Harry from his happy trance, "I just thought that you'd like to know that. I meant to tell you a long time ago, just like I meant to give you that letter a long time ago. Sirius wanted to give it to you years ago actually so that you'd have something from your parents, but I think that he was afraid of what the letter contained. He suffered a lot when your parents were killed, Harry. Especially for losing James. You have to understand that they were like brothers. I've never seen him as happy or confident with anyone as he used to be with James. Ever," Remus finished.

Harry knew that Remus needed to talk about Sirius. To talk it out. And Harry felt flattered that he trusted him with this.

"He was one of the best people that I've met. It's just so different without his presence here, you know?" Harry asked.

"Yes. He did a lot for me. So did your father. And I thought they'd always be around, but things happen, Harry. There's nothing we can do about it. We've got to just appreciate the things we have and not take anything for granted anymore. It's as simple as that, right?" Remus said.

"I guess. I just didn't ever want to disappoint him and I feel like I did. Like it's my fault that he's gone," Harry said, finally saying what he had wanted to say for the past couple of months.

"It's as much your fault as it is mine," was all that Remus answered.

Another silence filled in the room and both the occupants knew that the conversation was over.

"Why don't you finish your letter, Harry. We can talk later if you'd like about your parents. I'm sure you have some questions by now that only someone who was close to them could answer. I'll be in the kitchen," he said, and then he got up and walked to the door.

Harry saw him close the door behind him. He noticed that his footsteps stopped right outside of it, when he heard Remus Lupin sigh through the closed door. About a minute later, he heard the footsteps again, and knew that Remus had dried his eyes, and was returning to the party.

Harry stood up, spared a glance around the library, feeling better now, if only a little bit and he walked to the door as well. He opened it, walked through it, closed it behind him and then walked quickly back up to the room where the letter was still laying half read on the floor.

----------------------------------------

Harry entered Sirius' old room and saw the paper on the ground. He shut the brown door behind him, immediately cutting off all sounds of his party downstairs.

He walked the few steps to the middle of the floor, sat down quickly and picked up the thick letter. He flipped a few pages until he was at the start of the next 'section', which was ironically from Remus. Without pausing, looking up, or taking a deep breath this time, he plunged into the never before read words.

To the birthday boy,

Why hello. Sorry if this letter sounds at all weird to you. The reason for that is simple however. I have never written a letter to someone who wasn't even been born yet, so this is a new experience for me. You can blame your parents for this one, as it was their…well…unique idea. My name is Remus Lupin. I guess it would be important for you to know that so that you don't freak out and think that some random guy off the street is giving you advice. Or something like that. But yes, all thoughts of random guys off the street put aside, your dad has just informed me that he is going to make you call me 'Uncle Moony' as soon as you learn to speak. Lucky you, (I'll explain the Moony part a little later on, don't worry).

I'm not at all sure what to write so I guess I'll start by explaining about myself a little bit. Well, people mainly describe me as quiet, smart, and loyal. Well they'd be true, wouldn't they? But there's a lot more to me then that as you will learn in due time I hope. I just graduated Hogwarts a year or two ago. Now, I'd like to think that I'm funny. But there's no competition when you're best friends with James and Sirius. They put me to shame, I'm afraid. And I'm sure that you will too. Ah, life is good.

So, Happy Birthday! Or Sweet Sixteen I should say! I'm willing to bet that we will all forget what we have written in this 'super-letter' by the time it is your sixteenth birthday and you are reading it, so please be kind and remind us! Wow, I'm sorry, I almost wrote 'please be kind and rewind'. You should understand that statement if you have EVER watched a muggle movie. Your father is rather fond of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' as I have learned over the many years of watching it with him. But hey, you probably own that movie by now, what with you being a Potter and all. You probably have a television too. I don't know what it is about your father and weird things, especially muggle things, but we love him for it. And on second thought, please don't remind us what we have written to you. We're all pretty young right now. But now that I think about it, we're all so old at the same time. I am so cool right now.

Now that you've enjoyed my light, funny side (haha), let's get into the important stuff. Like why, for example, we seem so old. I hope to God that you don't have a war to deal with when you turn sixteen. Hopefully the world will have learned by then. But your parents, Sirius, and myself are involved in a horrible war in the Wizarding world. Some crazed dark-arts freak named Voldemort is apparently behind it all, and we are forever searching for him. He's not stupid, I'll give him that much. I mean, he even has followers who seem to be just as evil as he is. But we'll catch him. Sirius especially is determined to put an end to him, as his very own family (who he despises), has recently been promoting Mort right to his face. (yes, us marauders call Voldemort 'Mort'. I mean there's just no point to be scared in a name is there?). So where was I? Right. Sirius hates his family (don't be thinking he is a blood traitor or anything like that, because he's not!), but I'm sure you'll get the pleasure to meet them one day. If you haven't already, that is. So hopefully this dark lord will be put to rest by someone before you grow up, so that you can feel free wherever you are…a luxury that our generation never really had. If I could give you one gift, it would be freedom, little Potter. Well my fingers are crossed at least. No joke.

So yes, now that you've learned what we do for a living, don't be worried, because I for one wouldn't have it any other way. And if you know your father and Sirius like I do, then you'll know that they can never sit on the sidelines or let other people get in on the action. So in fact, this job is perfect for them both. They're partners in crime those two. You and I can be partners in crime when you grow up, alright? We'll give them a run for there money. I hope I'm not too much of a grownup by the time you are reading this, because if I know me, I will be. I'm big on academics and everything but every once and a while it's good to just hang out with your friends. But there's a time for that, and I'm guessing that it won't be in sixteen years. I will have changed. Something will have changed me. Just promise me something, ok? Treat me as your uncle. Not just another adult. Please?

Since it is much easier for me to express myself through writing, (I told you I was big on academics!), I want to tell you a secret. James and Sirius, and well… Peter, I suppose…speaking of Peter though…we don't see him much anymore. James and Sirius don't see it as much of a loss. But he's still part of the order against Voldemort with us, and he does come visit occasionally. I just want to know what else he's so busy doing lately. I mean he's never really been one to have that many friends, if you know what I mean. I wonder if you have ever met him. Strange bloke. But anyways, as I was saying, my fellow marauders found out my secret way before I was ready to tell them. I'm really self-conscience about it, and don't tell just anyone, so you should feel special. I hope that you already know by now though. If I've been around you for sixteen years though, you will know. I'm a werewolf. I don't think I've ever written that before. Seriously. I want you to know and hope that you won't be prejudice towards me or any other werewolves for that matter. Know that I would never hurt anyone intentionally and that I am still the same person at heart. I hope you don't think less of me. You parents never did, and for that I am forever grateful. Full moon moony. Get it? Lame, I know. But there's Sirius and James for you, (they gave me the nickname).

I hope that you have inherited the wonderful qualities that both your parents possess. And I'm not just talking about that messy black hair. They are seriously two of the greatest people I have ever had the privilege to meet and I know that they will love you very much. No matter what you do.

So do you play Quidditch then? I bet you do. James would have a fit if you refused to. And I'm not exaggerating here; he actually had a fit one night when Lily wouldn't go for a broom ride with him. It was quite the scene and we all have our fond little memories from that day. I'm just taking a guess here, but do we have another little Gryffindor on our hands? Dumbledore will be proud, (you can tell that it's his favorite house. But ssh that's a secret that nobody else knows).

Here's something interesting. I'm reading this book and I came across this one chapter called 'what your handwriting reveals about you'. I've got it with me right now and it's freakishly accurate. I've checked James, Lily, Sirius and my own handwriting. You're interested aren't you? Alright listen to this.

This is what mine said…SMALL HANDWRITING - indicates a more reserved personality. You're more likely to keep your feelings within you. You also rely on reason over emotion – which is why pals turn to you for answers and advice.

Freaky, eh? Ok this is what your father's said…HANDWRITING THAT LEANS TO THE RIGHT - indicates that you love to have fun and hang out with others. You have a lot of friends and a busy social schedule. You're probably super-involved in things such as sports and school activities.

Can someone say Quidditch! Alright here's your mother's…THE TOPS OF YOUR T's AND D's TEND TO DOMINATE YOUR SENTENCE - indicates that you are a real go-getter. You have big dreams and ambitions. By focusing on the big picture, you're able to let the little things roll right off your back.

And now here's Sirius'… HANDWRITING RISES UPWARDS - indicates that you are positive and adventuresome Your bright personality seems to light up every room you walk into, and you're rarely without a busy social schedule. If people say, 'it can't be done,' you're the first to prove them wrong.

Isn't that interesting how accurate those handwriting revelations are? Just thought that maybe that would be a good thing to read at your sixteenth birthday party.

Advice time! I'm sure you are an old pro at detentions if you have completed five years at Hogwarts by now and are James Potter's son! So I won't lecture you about that…I was a prefect by the way, and I've had my own fair share of lecturing people. Believe me. So as per your mother's request, here's my ten points of advice.

The secret to success is to know something that nobody else knows, (remember that Dumbledore thing).

Try to give everyone a chance, no matter how different they are or where they come from. For we're all human beings in the end, right?

Go to Sirius if you ever want something. He's a big softie and will do anything for you. I know this because he has already told me.

It's good to be a prefect or befriend one at Hogwarts. There are some pretty awesome perks involved. But you didn't hear it from me.

It is not uncool to want a better life and work towards getting it. Simple, eh?

If your life is hard, rearrange it. Don't let people pass you by or make you feel less of yourself. It is those people who have the problem.

Make a couple really good friends, and stay loyal. Forever. People grow and change drastically depending on whom they hang around. Life is dull and so much worse without people that you can rely on but also have fun with. I personally can tell you that. You need friends. Trust them and do anything for them. It's worth it.

Don't ever dare any guys to see who can kiss the most girls in one day. (Especially if they are related to a Potter or a Black. Even if they are related distantly.) It will not end pretty. I repeat, not pretty.

Be kind to your mother. She is the smartest and nicest woman that I have ever met. She deserves everything, so please respect her and realize what a truly wonderful person she is.

A smile works every time.

So there you go. That's the advice from the 'sensible' marauder. I have to finish this letter to you because that father of yours is walking (loudly I might add) up the stairs in this direction, I'm guessing. He's so excited for you. Do him justice, and let the Potter name live on.

Alright now he's trying to bribe me out of the room with chocolate. Can you believe him? Like that's going to work. Yep you've got some big shoes to fill, hahaha. So all jokes aside, I hope you are having a great sixteenth birthday that you will remember forever. And I hope that I was able to make it to it. I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk about anything. I pride myself on being the great 'listener' and 'problem solver' that I am, so just know that I can help you, if ever the ocassion calls. I also know some pretty interesting books, if you ever feel the need to read. I know that was random, but still important nonetheless.

My fingers are still crossed in hopes of that gift that I wanted to give you, if you remember.

Freedom.

I'm watching out for you, (and don't worry, I will not, under any circumstances let James name his first born child 'snitch'). You've got my love always, for you will ultimately be like a child to me as well, who I look forward to growing up and learning with.

No matter how distant we grow or how different we may end up being, or if life takes an unfair twist, know that there's at least one person in the world who you can run to. My door's always open for you. That's my oath to you alright? The door's open.

Awaiting your arrival into the world,

Love, Uncle Moony

P.S. I wonder where your father went with that chocolate. Not that I want any. Ah, who am I fooling. We all have our weaknesses!

Harry looked up for the first time since he started Remus' letter with a smile on his face. The Remus who had written this letter sixteen years ago seemed strangely different then the one that Harry knew today. He knew that he had changed so much though because of his friend's deaths, and Harry felt sympathy for the once funny man who had actually taken the time to examine his friend's handwriting and whose only weakness used to be chocolate.

"Funny what sixteen stupid years can do to a person," Harry said quietly.

He wasn't talking to anybody though, since he was, after all, alone.


	4. Daddy

Ch.4 Daddy

The wind blew violently through the open window in Sirius' old room chilling the area as it did so, and waking Harry from his troubled thoughts. He numbly dropped the third part of the letter he had just finished reading and stood up. As he walked over to the window on the opposite wall from him, Harry felt another gush of wind hit him directly in the face, making the dry tears that had long since been shed, sting coldly on the places where they had stained his face.

Harry reached for the latch on the window, meaning to close it. But as his hand touched the cold steel, he looked up and out into the darkness that was night on the other side of the window. Taking in the silence around him, Harry felt unable to close the window and shut himself into the room that he hated but loved at the same time.

Casting his eyes upwards, Harry saw the crescent moon shining down on him from its motionless position in the sky. Harry, without realizing it, felt himself cast a glare at the white shape that seemed to be smiling down at him. He had developed a recent hate for the moon on Remus' behalf. If anyone deserved to be a werewolf, it wasn't Remus Lupin. He often wondered how Lupin could deal through everything he could, while adding the unfortunate task of being a werewolf onto his back. And every time Harry looked at the moon, his respect and awe grew for his past professor and his hate grew for the moon.

Casting his gaze away from the moon, Harry tried to see how many stars could be seen in the sky tonight. The streetlamps from the houses and the smoke from the buildings built close to Grimmauld Place caused most of the stars to vanish in the night sky, and Harry was lucky to see even thirty on a good night. He looked at the stars that he could see, though few, and was about to look away when a particular bright one caught his eye.

Tilting his head as to see it better, Harry took in the bright star that had caught his attention. As he saw it twinkling in the night, defying the streetlamps and smoke from the city, Harry felt it give him some comfort. Harry knew that the star wouldn't leave him. It would always come back faithfully, every night.

Smiling, as he watched it, Harry oddly felt confidence in himself. He hadn't been sure if he could read the last part of his letter, which was from his father. Harry had always been rather proud of having James Potter as a father and had always tried to live up to what he thought his father would have wanted. But with the star shining its support down to him telling him that it, at least, thought him strong enough to read his fathers words, Harry took a deep breath and shut the window.

He was smiling, but didn't know why such a simple thing as a bright star shining out in the night could give him the help that he sought.

Feeling ready now, Harry went back to the center of the room and lowered himself onto his knees right where he had been before. Hands slightly shaking, he picked up the letter for the forth time and flipped to where the last unread words began.

i Dear Prongsie, (hey, if I'm Prongs, then you're Prongsie. I know it kind of sounds girly. Deal with it.)

Victory is mine at last. If Sirius thought that he could make me write to you last and get away with it, well he was wrong. I just told Moony that Sirius was holding his chocolate ransom. That should go over quite well in my favour, seeing as Sirius does not have said chocolate and will have to go and find some. Fast. Can you tell that I'm smiling to myself right now? Ah, of course you can't. But now you know, don't you? Your father is smiling and that means that everything is good. Remember that.

If you are reading this, then that means that it is your sixteenth birthday, and that you have survived sixteen years so far as a Potter. Congratulations! It isn't easy, is it? You'll learn to love it though, being a Potter that is, just like Lily did. Lily, being your mother. Whatever she tells you now, the truth is that she did not want to be a Potter at first, let me tell you. I don't see why. Ok, maybe it had a little to do with my supposed 'big head' as she used to so kindly put it. For the record, my head is the same size as anybody else's. Sirius and I measured them one day, but I still have the slightest suspicion that she was referring to something else rather then diameter. But none of that matters anymore, because look where we are now! At our son's sixteenth birthday party, of all places! Who would have thought that would ever become a reality? Not Sirius, that's for sure. And they say that man's best friend is his dog. A likely story.

So I am James Potter. And I am your dad. And you are going to have to listen to everything that I say. Nah, I'm just kidding, (ok, I kid a lot.), I don't expect you to listen to everything that I say. In fact, if you did, I might start actually wondering if there was something fundamentally wrong with you. But you'll disobey me, right? You'll make me mad, right? It was doing exactly what my father wouldn't approve of that got me through my teen years. Ah, I probably shouldn't be telling you that, should I? I'm not too good at this father thing yet. I've never had a kid before, obviously, but I'm always up for a little challenge, my boy! It's going to be Me Vs. You from now on, (I hope you let me win sometimes). Well, by your sixteenth birthday I'm sure I'll be an old pro. It doesn't take me long to master things. Know that.

Right now you are in your mother's stomach, and are taking forever to decide when to join us in the world, I might add. Sure you're not due for a couple of weeks, but still. I've already packed a bag to bring to the hospital. It's better to be prepared then caught off guard, as I always say. Ok, so I've never said that in my life. And I don't believe it either, but it just seemed like a good fatherish thing to say. You'll understand if you ever have kids. But, oh god! You can't have kids until you are forty, all right? I don't know if I can handle the term 'Grandfather' without fainting. I'm barely prepared for 'Daddy' as it is. I've changed so much since your mother told me that she was pregnant. Didn't see that one coming! Erm…I mean…we were very responsible and planned the whole thing. Is there an award for the worst father of the year? Haha, I'll just laugh that off and you will never bring it up, all right? That usually seems to work for me. But where was I? Right, so I found out that I was going to have a baby. Me. James Potter. Marauder. Quidditch star. A baby. I never told anybody this, but at first I was a little scared. Now, if you know me like I hope you know me, then you'll know, (hopefully), that I don't get scared usually. Hardly ever, in fact. I'm a strong believer in conquering your fears. I know that may sound cheesy to you, but if you live by it, it's so rewarding. So here's the first thing that I'm going to tell you that you have to listen to, all right? Go out and do what scares you most. Do it right now. I don't even care if you have to leave your own sixteenth birthday party. Ok, well maybe it can wait until tomorrow. But overcome your fears, Prongsie. If not for yourself, then do it for me.

Now, what to talk about. How about I tell you embarrassing secrets about Sirius? Would you like that? He probably told you all the stupid things that I've ever done in my life in his part of the letter, so I guess I better redeem myself. He's not as cool as he thinks he is. Really. He's only cool because I let him hang out with me, Remus and Lily. All right, I admit, changing into a big black omen of death whenever he pleases is kind of cool. But that doesn't mean that he is cool. I'm not the one who has to wear a collar and leash when I go out in public, right? Ah, I hope that you end up bonding with Sirius as soon as you can talk because he is definitely the best person that you will ever have the privilege of meeting. But, I swear, if he tells you to call him dad or something, he will go down. Just kidding, I love the guy.

Now, Sirius thinks of me, and of you (even though you haven't exactly been born yet), as his family. Him and I have been brothers for years. Not the kind of brothers that you see on family tapestries, (trust me when I say I'm not on his family's tapestry…heck I don't even think he's on his family's tapestry…), but we're brothers in a better way. A truer way and, oh screw this, I can't explain it. We have a bond, ok? And it hasn't been broken yet, as I knew it wouldn't. This may help explain what I'm talking about - On the day when Sirius showed up on my doorstep, wait, I'm trusting you with this story, all right? No one has ever heard it before besides Sirius and me. But yes, one day he came to my house very late in the night, woke my whole family up and everything. But he was shaking with rage, telling me that he had run away from his family because he had finally just had enough with them and their pureblood mania and, well, it was probably one of the best days of my life. Let me explain. I'd never seen Sirius cry before, I don't know if anybody had ever seen him cry before, but on that day I saw it. I saw him break down, and I felt honoured that I was one that he felt he could open up to and show his whole, true self to. His family, who he had been living with for the better part of sixteen years, had disowned him. Can you imagine what that must have felt like? Sure, a part of him was glad to get out of there and finally be rid of them, but he was more lost and confused then he had ever been before. And 'lost' and 'confused' were new feelings for him, and they strongly overpowered the happiness he felt. Not to mention he felt regret for leaving his brother alone with his parents. And you know what I did, son? I cried with him. For him. And that was the day when we knew we were brothers. I wanted to tell you that because it was probably the time in my life, as well as Sirius', when we matured a little bit, (yes, matured. But only a little bit!). What I wish for you is that you find a friend like that; one you can joke around with, make fun of at times, (ok all the time.), one who makes you laugh but can also make you cry, and someone that you know always 'has your back', even when they know you're wrong. Especially when they know you're wrong. What you'll find with Sirius, for example, is that he's a smart-ass on the surface, but loyal underneath. And we love him for it.

Wow, I finally get a chance to write a letter to my first-born child, and what am I doing? I'm writing about feelings. Sorry if that last paragraph sounded at all like I was writing in a journal or something. For the record, I don't own a journal. But now that that's all cleared up, let's talk about something else. Even though we're not really talking are we? It would be a kind of one ended conversation. And we all know that parchment can't talk on it's own, right? Wrong! Little Potter, I'd like to take this time to tell you about the Marauder's Map. The key to the Marauders' success at Hogwarts. (Except when it got confiscated by that no good, git of a caretaker…I've still got grudges.) It's a map of Hogwarts but then so much more then that as well. I can't give it justice by just explaining about it. I wish I could give it to you, though. We wrote it, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and me. My, weren't we brilliant in our Hogwarts days? (Don't take that last sentence as arrogance before you see the wonder of this map, because it was quite the product). Yes, and now I'm going to explain our days in Hogwarts in a few sentences. (By the way, I haven't explained what Hogwarts is to you, because I know that you attend there. How could you not?). All right, so here were our days in the school in the simplest words I can find to explain it. Girls, pranks, werewolves, detentions, and straight A's! (And for me 'Lily Evans' was also on the list). I won't explain each one specifically, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about anyways. You smart little Potter, you.

Which reminds me, Lily and I are going to have to stop fighting the inevitable and give you a name. It's an ongoing…erm…disagreement. By the way, I'm sorry for any disagreements you've had to listen to between your mother and I. But it's what we do; we fight, and as a result, we love each other even more. It's a good chain of events actually, brings us closer. But you've got to stop me before I start rambling about your mother because I've been known to do that on occasion. Ok, more then just on occasion. I can't help it! Moving on…your name. Well, Lily is strongly against this name, but what about Snitch? Eh? Eh? I mean, you could have one of those exotic names that nobody's ever heard of before. All right, so it's not that exotic. Ok, so it's a Quidditch ball. But I'm sticking to it! If Lily let's me name you Snitch, I'll buy you a pony.

We actually have one name that we haven't told anybody about yet. Harry. So don't be surprised if you are Harry Potter and you reading this. It's the only one that we haven't argued over, and unless we can find another one that we agree on in four weeks, you will be born a Harry. I like it, it just fits somehow. Lily, James, and Harry Potter. So much for an exotic name, eh? Remember to blame your mother on that one. Harry.

So, know that I am usually much funnier than I let on in this letter. Or so I am told. Ok, I admit, all pride aside, that I am a pretty funny guy. It takes a lot to get Moony to fall off of his chair from laughter, but it has been done. By yours truly! Speaking of Remus, don't think that have forgotten to mention him here. He means a lot to me, just like Sirius does, but with him it's different. Where Sirius is my brother as I have already told you, Remus, well he's my best friend. And the greatest, smartest, nicest guy to ever come along. If there's anyone you can go to or trust, it's Remus Lupin. He has never given any of us any reason to not believe that. Don't forget that. So, anyways, as I was saying, I really am a much funnier person. But I don't expect you to remember me by means of this letter.

So do you want some advice from a Dad? Wow, that felt weird just writing it. I've got some things that I guess you could take to learn from, but know that this is not even a fraction of the stuff I have planned to teach you in your lifetime. Ok, so maybe I do plan things. Ok, here's my advice to you, starting with number ten and counting down.

10. Never trust a dog to watch your food. I know I said that I trust Sirius, but not with food. And definitely not when he's in his 'black omen of death' form. Solution? Lick all of your food before you leave the room.

9. When I was sixteen, my parents also gave me a letter that they had written from before I was born. (Ya, so I stole the idea. It was a good one though.). This was something that my dad told me in the letter and it seems appropriate that I pass it down to you. 'The only way to avoid mistakes is to gain experiences. The only way to gain experience…is to make a mistake.' Don't worry, I didn't understand it at first either, but when I did understand what my father was talking about, I realized that he couldn't have written truer words. It was only after I had made mistakes that I learned that, however. I made them, and you will too. And that's a good thing.

8. Ok, when someone says "Thank you. We are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view", they do not mean it as a compliment. Hopefully nobody says that to you. I had no such luck. Nor did Sirius.

7. Stray from the path. Color outside the lines. Take a leap of faith. However you want to put it, be a leader.

6. Learn from your parent's mistakes! Ya, we have them. But we're still perfect. What am I saying?

5. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

4. There are only two phrases that you need to work the Marauder's Map. 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' and 'Mischief managed'. The rest is up to you.

3. Love your mother and know that she will do anything for you.

2. Snape is an evil, untrustworthy git who's up to his ears in the dark arts. It's good to know this in case you ever come across him in your lifetime. Oh, what a sad day that will be for you. I feel for you already.

1. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.

Well there you go, ten useful points that should assist you in your growing experience. Wow, I just sounded like Moony in that last sentence there. I don't know what is wrong with me right now, this is the first time that I've ever felt like a father I think, and I don't exactly know how to handle that. Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out. I always do.

Now for the climax of the letter - Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are always a lot of fun and I hope that you are enjoying yours. We probably all sound like idiots to you in this letter, don't we? Oh well, I don't mind, (Lily might though). I hope to God that I gave you a present that you like. Not socks. If I gave you socks for your sixteenth birthday, then please go and pick them up right now and throw them at me. At my head, specifically. Actually, on second thought, go throw them at Sirius. He'll like that. (I hope you noted the sarcasm there.).

Oh, somebody's coming into the room as I write this, hang on, let me shoo them away. All right, it was Remus and he's gone now. He said that Dumbledore is here in my house. Funny man, Dumbledore, I'd have to say that he's my idol. But anyways, Remus said that Dumbledore wanting to talk to us about a prophecy or something. Doesn't he know that I'm writing to my son here? And that divination is a mistrusted subject? It must be important though, as Dumbledore isn't really known for making house calls. They're calling to me from downstairs now. No, not calling. More like yelling. Honestly, a little patience never hurt anyone. But who am I do disobey Albus Dumbledore? Well, I'd be a fool, that's who.

So, I hope that you got to know me a little better by reading this letter, because it feels like I've written a lot in here. Hopefully more then Padfoot. I'm sorry; it's not a competition, really. I could have continued writing to you forever though, know that. But all good things must end sometime I guess. Right? Oh, just agree with your old man.

Take all that I said to heart, and know that it's what I truly believe as a grown man. Well, mostly grown.

See you on the Quidditch field,

Dad /i 

Harry read the last word at the bottom of the last page and felt as if he could have kept on reading his father's words forever. This letter had effected him the most, he knew, but also knew that he was going to need some time to think over and let sink in what he had just read, as to fully experience the emotions that it was sure to invoke.

Harry suddenly heard footsteps right outside of his door and he dropped the letter suddenly in shock. He knew before the person opened the door and entered the room that it was going to be Remus. For Remus always had a knack of having perfect timing.

"Hello, Harry," Remus said as he closed the door behind them.

Remus took one glance at Harry on his knees in the middle of the room with the letter laying beside him face down where it had fallen and knew at once that Harry had finished reading it.

"Hello," Harry said, speaking for the first time in a while before adding, "Uncle Moony."

Remus had not been expecting to be addressed by that, and it showed by the look of wonder on his face.

"Wow," he said and walked across the room to look out of the window that Harry had shut earlier.

Harry got up and walked over so that he was standing right next to Remus who had already opened the window and was now staring out into the night sky just as Harry had done before. They both watched the moon and the stars for a couple of silent minutes before the bright star that had caught Harry's attention the first time he had looked out the window, grabbed his eyes again.

"That one star is really bright tonight," Harry said, wanting to break the silence. He pointed when he said this to where the star was shining even though there was no real need, as it was clearly the brightest one in the sky.

"Do you know what star that is, Harry?" Lupin asked and then forced his gaze away from the star and over to his left where Harry was standing.

"Erm…should I?" Harry asked, wondering why Lupin was asking him a question about stars in the first place.

But truthfully he did want to know the name of the star that had earlier encouraged him to read his father's words. It was the star, though it sounded stupid to him now, that had believed in him.

"Well you'll recognize the name, at the very least. It's Sirius, the Dog Star," Lupin stated like a fact as if he had known the name of that specific star his whole life and could've picked it out in any night sky. Which, Harry reminded himself, Remus probably could.

They stood in silence for a couple more minutes on account that Harry was speechless. They both continued staring at the Dog Star, letting memories that only they could see run through their minds.

Harry, making up his mind, went over to the middle of room once more, bent over, and picked up the letter that he had let drop to the floor. Finding the envelope close by, he grabbed it and stuffed the thick letter into it as he walked back over to the window towards Remus. As he reached the windowsill, Harry sealed the letter, stopped walking, and turned towards the man that was standing there.

"Here," Harry said.

Remus took his gaze away from the moon and looked over to Harry who had his arm stretched out towards him, the letter in his hand.

"What are you doing? I gave it to you, it's yours. It was written to you," Remus said, a little shocked to see Harry giving back his birthday present.

Just as he was in the middle of trying to understand what Harry meant by the offering, Harry spoke.

"I don't deserve it yet. I want you to keep it safe for me and give it back to me on the most important day of my life," Harry said as he stuffed the fat envelope into Remus' fingers.

"And what day will that be?" Remus asked very quietly, looking directly into Harry's shining emerald eyes.

"Whenever you give it back to me," Harry answered.

Remus smiled.

And if Remus could do it, then he, Harry, felt that he could do it to.

With no deep effort and no need to pretend any more, Harry smiled.

…That neither schools nor priests,

Nor Kings may build again,

A people with the heart of beasts

Who made wise concerning men.

Whereby our dead shall sleep

In honour, unbetrayed,

And we in faith and honour keep

That peace for which they paid.

-Rudyard Kipling

The End

A/N - I hoped you liked the story, what did you think?


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